wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -1

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a Mexican's favorite holiday? Christman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops