Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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