What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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I'm Batman.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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