*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

thumb_up thumb_down

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

thumb_up thumb_down

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

thumb_up thumb_down

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down

why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops