Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops