What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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