What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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The global news

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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