Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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