So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Do you feel lucky punk, well do ya? ..Umm i'm sorry :/ I'm not gay!... I'm into chicks...you know?!

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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