Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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good looking women

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Why did the jew give all his money away to charity? -No I'm kidding, he didn't.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Paper shield.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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