What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Apple juice.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Amazing

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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soccer

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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