What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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Hey

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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Mitt Romney

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Mr Whelk visited his doctor. His doctor put on a sterile glove and inserted two fingers into the man's rectum. "Does this feel all right?" The doctor asked "Yes" replied Mr Whelk. "But is my wrist broken or not?

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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