Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What are we then hypocrites?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My life :(

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats long and stretchy? elastic

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops