What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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neil patrick harris

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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you lose.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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hi bye

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You tell him to do so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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