How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" as his FaceBook status, and all his friends were annoyed.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did the man buy fruits at the store? Because they were available, on sale, and the man was hungry, so he wanted to eat fruit at that time, he then got into his car, but thought to himself first, "I should unlock my car so I can open the door," so he does so, and sits in the drivers seat eating his fruit, he drives off to his home, arrives safely, and greets his family as he enters the house, then they sit down, eat dinner, and go to sleep, the next day, the man goes to the store, and buys vegetables

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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