What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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women's rights

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Justin's hair

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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My pet rock died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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i have two hands.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops