What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? Still a pilot.

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what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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kkk

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Cancer

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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