Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you like fishsticks No

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

The WNBA

women's rights.

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

Poop swing

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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