Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

hi

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

After finishing reading this sentence, read it again and you might or might not realise that there is a secret subliminal message in this sentence making you do something later tonight. Can you spot it?

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

Hi

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

wanna hear a joke womens rights

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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