How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Fat people

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops