What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Joke.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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pee

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Smeg...

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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meh

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Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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