What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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