What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Why couldn't the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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