Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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cancer

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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;aosughdfo

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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LIFE :(

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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