What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

you know whats funny... nothing.

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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