Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Gianni

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops