Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Wade

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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A mans opinion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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