Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Yes.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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