How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

Two english guys meet at work

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

melon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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