What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Nock Nock It's open.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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