How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Another cat joke. You gotta be kitten me.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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