Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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What's 4+7 47

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Does pizza sound good for dinner?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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