What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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KKK

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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