Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Welcome to die!

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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feces

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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i have a black person in my family tree he is still hanging

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How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

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I ate high protein foods and now my flatulence smells wrank.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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