A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

what glows blue and howls at the moon at midnight? I dont know but i had sex with your mother.

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

Women Driving.

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

How old is the old man? Probably how old he is

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...