Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops