have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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