A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Why could the girl climb out of the pool? She drowned

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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I can't see my forehead

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Nothing yet CC

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Chuck Norris died.

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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