How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

Knock knock Come In.......

You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

Hippopatomous!

A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...