Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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