whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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