If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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