I? Everett

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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