Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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