How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops