Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops