Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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