what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

Why? Because.

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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