How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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