jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Your big dick.

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bangers and mash?

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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drugs.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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