How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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